"Mummies Don't Fluff"...

The Queen and I have much in common. She doesn't know it. But she is the topic of my conversation at least once per week. You see she is responsible for my stance on body wind. I not sure she would approve, being the topic of such conversations. But. Well. She is...  In my family "Mummies don't fluff". This has been maintained and vehemently defended by myself since the beginning. I was thinking about it last night. This has always been my story and I am sticking to it. Look, others in this family have m-a-n-y talents in that direction so I like to maintain, sort of, standards really. One does need to have standards.

Like the Queen. She doesn't fluff either. The Tweenies don't really believe us but they don't have any proof either that this is not true. Well, that's what I tell them. Personally, I don't really actually know if the Queen fluffs. Do you? I just assume it is not a conversation for polite company really. I am just assuming of course because I don't really know what goes on behind closed palace doors. I just can't imagine the  Queen doing 'that'. Maybe that is why she has corgis. Maybe.... she b-l-a-m-e-s the corgis!!! Must remember that when I get older. Note to self: get a dog! I  refer to the Queen frequently in my daily conversations also, especially when trying to instill manners at the table. "You'll never be invited to the palace if you eat like that!", "You will never have tea with the Queen"...

The Tweenies sigh now. In a sort of tolerant way. Like I have lost my mind. Like they know the chances of being invited to the palace are pretty slim. Humphf! It is hard to get away with things now they are older. Now that they can use logic. Now they can sniff out a 'parent lie' It used to work. Like a dream. Like the time Buzz Lightyear rang Master T when he was toilet training to congratulate him on dry undies through the night. Or the time that I told Miss T a bubble monster lived in the drain in the bathroom so she wouldn't keep taking the cover off and chucking stuff down. When the bath was let out bubbles did come up the drain so it was pretty effective that one.

I need to get smarter. I need a bit of street-wise cred. So they will still listen. I will a-l-w-a-y-s maintain that Mummies do not fluff. I take the 'we are not amused'... stance when conversation turns in this direction. Always.... One does have to have standards you know....The Queen and I...

Ciao for now


just Martha