Monday, 19 March 2012

Angry Ant...

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How do you deal with anger? Do you just say what you have to say and be done with it?

Or do you stew on it....

and ponder.....

and plot your revenge....

Or do you become silent. Silent with anger. So silent that days go by.... and still you are angry. You family tip toes around but you will not bend your rules...

What sets you off? Is it something major or is it a tiny little straw that causes an explosion?

My Mum was silent. For days. For weeks. She never said sorry even when she was in the wrong. She could start talking and then would throw a murderous look and clam up again. It affected my family in different ways. Some of us enjoyed the silence. Others would cajole and sweet talk her around. I thought she looked so darn unhappy in her self imposed punishment that even as a youngster I wondered why she was doing it.

It wasn't uncommon for her generation to revert to such lengths to prove a point. Many people I speak to had the same experiences growing up. I'm just not sure what the point was, and at times I don't think she was either but she had committed to the end.

As I look back with adult eyes, I feel some anger. Anger that she should have wasted so much time because now she has dementia, she has no more time left. Time to share stories, time to shop, time to be together. Now she is merely a shell.... I am aware that tragic things happen to good people and life is all too short.

Are you mindful of how you treat your anger? Sometimes it is a sign that depression is snapping at your heels. That you do not have the emotional reserves to deal with the everyday, the mundane, the small things...

Have a think...

That is all I am asking. Be mindful of how you deal with your loved ones and how you deal with your anger.

Got to keep you thinking about yourselves dear bloggers...



 Ciao for now...




 

4 comments:

  1. Such an insightful and thought-provoking post, Martha. It's very close to home for someone I care about at the moment. J x

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  2. Yes, a hearty dish in the food for thought category...I hate it when i am angry it swirls in my stomach and crunches up my shoulder blades. Round and round it goes, usually it manifests into anxiety and it wrecks me for days...i manage to keep going around with usual tasks, respond to everyone's needs etc, but my poor self gets a work over. This isn't to say when I am in a short fused place (e.g. PMS) that a kid whacking his sister or husband being a sod does get the occasional roar and then that is it...ok so that is not good either..I see anger daily in people and it so hard helping to deal with it..I think the only real thing you can do is distract yourself and it eases off and fades away, try and laugh at something else.

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  3. Well said Martha, life is to short to waste it being silent. I find I tend to clean when Im angry but if Im hurt & angry I do retreat into myself & become very quiet.
    Thanks for reminding me to stop & think. Have a great week!!

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  4. Anger was a problem at a younger age for me. I'm sure I modeled my parents. I had no coping skills, depression.

    Now....I'm not sure the last time I was angry. I'm glad I have developed much better coping skills. Life is much much better now.

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