How is your body image? What do you think of..... Well..... You? Poor body image is in epidemic proportions amongst woman.... And maybe guys too.
What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see the beauty within or are you critical, focusing on lumps and bumps - real or perceived? Are you happy with the skin you are in? Many woman are not. I have chatted about this before but have lately started to reflect upon my own perceptions.
And my own reality.
And I find it alittle distorted to say the least.
When I was young, I clearly remember going out and not wishing to be looked at. Seeing my flaws as a real focal point to seeing me. I remember feeling awful, positioning myself so to hide and not really interacting or being myself. Too caught up with what was glaringly obvious to me, to be me.
I was 10 kg lighter than I am now.
Okay, okay, my life did work out despite it all. I did meet a man, get married and have children, work in my chosen career and have loads of health. When my daughter was born I was about 5 kg lighter than I am now. I don't remember having any weight issues in my mind then, or at least focusing on anything in particular. Probably because I was busy. As you are when you have young children.
When my son was born I was about the same weight I am now. I wasn't happy with my self. I denied buying clothes until I could be the shape I wanted to be. I was healthy, exercising and busy. I ate a healthy diet, worked and ran after my 2 gorgeous babies. The years past and I still never invested much money in clothes. I had heaps of tops but not many bottoms as I felt I didn't want to waste money until I was happy. I haven't invested money in nice clothes now for ............... 12 years! Sheesh!
The years flew by.
Then, we had lots of changes in our life- moving, building, new jobs, new school, making new friends....... and money stress.
I put on 15kg.
My diet hadn't really changed but I did develop an anxiety state. The Silver Fox was working away all week and came home for weekends only. I went up 2-3 dress sizes. I knew I was bigger but didn't feel r-e-a-l-l-y big. I knew I didn't like it but it was almost like my perception of me had not altered as I had always not been happy with my shape. I still felt the same as when I was 17 although in my head I knew I was definitely not the same.
For 2 years I have been exercising my guts out. I have lost 15kg, have gone down nearly 3 dress sizes.... But still I feel the same. I feel like I did when I was 17.
Why is that? I am relatively intelligent and work in health. I would like to tell my 17 year old self to focus on the positives and that life would be wonderful. Maybe I would try to teach her to dress for her shape and that certain fashions would never work but others would be perfect.
I want to yell at myself to 'get happy' To be grateful for health. I know all that. And I am.
There is always a 'but'.
I am not alone. Plenty of woman out there won't wear shorts, or sleeveless tops because of body image issues. My own gorgeous mother has n-e-v-e-r worn shorts even though she would sweat her way through Summer with her make up sliding off her face. Why? "Terrible legs" Apparently. (see here). I see it all the time: tops being adjusted, skirts smoothed down over and over. I see beautiful woman but unhappy woman. I know the media is a great contributor with the "she is back to her size 2 only 2 days after having a baby..." type of stories.
When am I going to get happy with me? Or atleast accept "I is what I is?" These are harsh times folk, economically, and there are much greater issues in the world than body image but I believe it is becoming epidemic.
What do you see when you look in the mirror?
Ciao for now...