The house is quiet. Master T is home. Unusual to be quiet. Master T is 14 and acts like he is 14. He is quick to get feisty and can argue the leg off a chair.
For example, I wanted to take the babes out for sushi and wanted Master T to do his chores of emptying the rubbish and putting the bins out. This is how the conversation went:
Me:"Please put the bins out because I have a surprise after"
Him:"You don't pay me to do my chores. I do them because I am part of this family apparently so I will do my unpaid chores when I want to"
M"Well, I would like you to do them now"
H"Again I will do it when I am ready"
M"I have a surprise after you do your chores and if you don't do them then you can't be part of the surprise"
Finally does the chores
M"Thankyou. The surprise is going to sushi"
H"What makes you think that I want to go to sushi anyway?"
M"Because you like sushi, it is dinner time and you have done your chores. I would have left you behind if this continued much longer"
H"I am more than capable of making my own dinner so I could stay home"
M"Do you want to stay home? If so I can just take your sister to sushi"
H"I suppose I will come"...
Exhausting people. Exhausting. I am consistent and follow through but really! I remain calm and then chat to him later in more depth about his behaviour.
Master T is studying for his exams. He is a little... l-a-z-y with all of this. Pity because he is actually quite clever.
So, my job is to find out how to motivate him
Hmmm. Removing his phone really works so I'm using this at any opportunity. That's my job as a Mum, to motivate and follow through. I have been known to take it off him for 2 weeks at a time. I have history so he usually conforms pretty quickly. I call this the "Fonzie Principle" . You have to have a reputation for it to be really effective. I have a reputation, have really good hiding places and know to put it on silent so he can't ring himself. Hahaha. Miss T trained me really well when she was 14 and I was using similar techniques.
I'm also paying him to get good grades. Although if he is naughty in class he faces the consequences of his behaviour. He knows this but we do discuss how much money he could make and what he could do with it. To increase his motivation.
He has still been going to his MMA class where he does boxing and Brazilian Ju Jitsu. I spoke with his lovely instructor and said "he is being 14, can you work him really hard tonight to get that energy out?" He gave me the 'thumbs up sign'. Master T came back all sweaty and very relaxed.
Sometimes, I study with him and try to get him to think more laterally and apply his knowledge. Sometimes I do this by keeping his body busy so his mind will work and he will chatter away. I usually take him outside to skateboard while I sit in the gutter and fire questions at him. Classy family but it seems to work for us. I think I read somewhere that if you keep a boy's hands busy they will talk.
So, wish us luck in his exam. He does all the hard work but I am behind the scenes organizing, planning and reminding with the study timetable on the fridge and the timer in place.
He has chosen his subjects for next year so I wonder if this will make a difference in his motivation?
ciao for now
just Martha xx
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