Sorry, my blog was in slow mo yesterday and wouldn't be persuaded to hurry. Hope you didn't miss me too much!!! Yesterday Miss T text me to say she had wet her pants laughing too much. She was unperturbed. She said it happened after the bus and she was laughing at her friend and, well, you can picture the rest. I sent her back a text...'classy'. Her shoes were squelching when she got home. Oh well. She doesn't stand a chance you know. It is in the genes (and the jeans!) Weak bladders run in my family. Not Tena-lady moments all the time but if we laugh and have a full bladder...tragedy. I could tell you a m-i-l-l-i-o-n stories. In fact, I will tell you a couple...
LJ (sister) is out of the country or else I might not even dare to write this! When she was young (18ish) she worked during the week and then on Saturdays worked in a real estate all day. It must have been the '80s because she had on a fuchsia or emerlad satin dress. (It is important to know this so you can get a clear mental picture). Well, she was coming down the travelator (flat escalator - very new in 'those' days) when, out of the blue, a 'Jerry Lewis' look-a-like came running up the said travelator. He had coke-bottle thick glasses, a bit of a buck teeth thing happening and looked so darn hilarious that she started to laugh. A full bladder and belly laughing resulted in a waterfall-effect from my gorgeous sister. Once she started she couldn't stop and really, the sheer relief she felt meant she had no chance. So she said. Well, picture if you will a 'river' flooding down the travelator and people literally getting out of the way as said river gushed all the way to the bottom. Also picture her lovely satin dress stuck to her, around her legs with a nice dark patch clearly visible. Also picture if you will her squelching off to the carpark with as much dignity as she could muster..... Nothing short of class in this family.
Fast forward many years and her and I are at Coney Island in Luna Park. Having a great time. We were a bit gumby on the timber bits that go forward and backwards but thought nothing of it really. In retrospect it was a warning sign of things to come. We spied the 'Barrel of Fun' and decided to give it a go. Hey, the kids could do it. How difficult can it really be? (cue dramatic music: you know like da da da dum) The "Barrel of Fun (rechristened the Barrel of Terror) you walk through and is like a huge toilet roll with one barrel going in one direction and the other in the other direction. I think the plan is that you run through but the change in direction can unbalance you. (yep - got that bit). So LJ ran through and got about half way before she fell and rolled around like she was in a washing machine with her legs going over her head in a rather a spectacular fashion before she managed to crawl off after the lady stopped the ride. So, my turn. I am older and more athletic so really, how hard could it be? The problem we decided later was that we were both busting to do a wee! A-n-d it is very hard to roll around trying to cross your legs when you are cracking up. The result? Me rolling around like a bag of potatoes in a washing machine. Look, I do have some decorum folks and prayed very hard that I didn't wet my pants so I didn't quite take it down to such a low standard. But very nearly. Mine of course was caught on video by my sweet brother in law and still has me cracking up every time I see it.
We did try it again to challenge ourselves on a subsequent visit and ran through no trouble. Yay!! No more gumbies. But. Then LJ thought we should do it one more time and even though I thought we should quit whilst be were ahead. I ran through but,alas, she was a victim to the Barrel of Terror again. Caught on video. Very funny LJ, very funny.