Monday, 9 September 2013

just Disapproving...




The response to my Dad putting my Mum in care has been 99% positive. My siblings support the decision 100%. Most friends say they saw it coming for years.
But

One couple of long time friends

They highly disapprove. Highly

And they tell my Dad

He gets destroyed by their attitude even though he knows he made the right decision for Mum and him.

They criticize everything including Mum not wearing stockings!

Both my sister and I have spoken to them to no avail. We are not outwardly rude but they are not willing to listen. No insight. They recently rang me and asked if I could drive Mum up and they would keep her over night and drive her back in the morning. See? No insight into her condition to even suggest that. Our priority is to Mum and she would not cope in a strange place at all. Heck, she gets stressed when I take her out for an hour!

We are very disappointment in them for my Dad because it doesn't matter how many people are supportive, this attitude hurts him the most.

We have even considered asking them not to visit but at the end of the day Mum has a great time even if she doesn't remember! So now I have asked them to contact me only when they are intending to visit to save Dad getting stressed by them.

Dementia is never easy is it on many levels?


ciao for now


just Martha xxx
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

4 comments:

  1. So hard to get through to some people isn't it? As a HACC asessment officer I see this all the time - it is worse if the rift occurs within the family. Dementia is the cruelest and hardest human condition and I don't believe the majority of people don't perceive more than just a sweet old person sitting quietly in the corner losing their marbles and being passive...This aging population is in for a very big shock I think. Love to you and all of your family - you are being the best advocates and carers you could possibly be.xx

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  2. Its hard enough to handle this situation without others pushing their opinions into it. When Mum had to go into a nursing home after Dad died of lung cancer (he was her carer), we all thought she might be better off with one of us, but after about six months at my sisters', we realised that full time care was best as her dementia got worse (and my sister's partner was a nurse!). And she was well cared for there for her last four years.
    Nobody knows what's best for someone unless they are immediately and emotionally involved. Tell them to mind their own business. xx

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  3. Thanks for your comments they mean so much to me. My Dad is moving soon and not giving these people his new number. We are planning an 80th birthdat party for Mum soon which will be lovely. xx

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